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2. Allison on drums_Credit Allison Gerrard.png


Why it’s wise to question yourself before deciding

 that you’re right to feel offended


By Allison Gerrard

I’m going to bang the drum for doing something that’s not fun but is often wise: questioning ourselves in moments when we feel offended.


The story I’m about to share unfolded during band practice. You’ll get the details in a moment. For now, this what you need to know: I, the offended party, made up the “offense.” Not deliberately, mind you, but by falling for the narrative that my primitive brain spun.


We all have a brain whose sole job is to keep us alive. So it does everything it can to protect us from threat. Great! Except, much of the time, there is no threat. None. Zero. Just the "threat" that our overprotective brains manufacture to confirm our own expectations and spare us the energy of having to think.


You know what that means? We pre-judge people. Worse, marinating in our pre-judgments (better known as “prejudices”), we perceive their innocuous deeds as offensive because we’ve already cast them as villains in the dramas running through our heads.


Read on


Let my story serve as a gentle warning about how easily any of us can fall prey to our fear-mongering brains. May it also guide you to outsmart this precious piece of our biology.


Because remember: The brain doesn’t exist so you can think. It exists to save you from the fatigue of thinking. That’s why we have to be intentional about asking questions of ourselves as much as anybody else.

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